" Oh." Miriam sat staring at the floor, the phone to her ear."He feels bad. He said things seemed perfect -- but then he realized that some stuff that is extreme for him isn't for you..." Bernice paused. "Do you like, you know, being told to do stuff? You know -- stuff that's a little out there?" Yes," Miriam replied tonelessly.Bernice sighed. "I do stuff -- but I don't know that I like it. I just do what I'm told. That's ... bad enough..." It's like taking a dare," Miriam explained. "Kind of a feeling of accomplishment." Oh. I get it," Bernice replied. "But that's not how I feel about it." Thinking about it, Bernice guessed that it made Miriam kind of an adrenaline junkie -- and left Randy holding the bag for finding her new thrills. It wasn't exactly right, but it bore a speaking resemblance to the reality. Sometimes, Bernice didn't even know why she did as she was told -- but it came down to that; she did as she was told."How bad is it?"Bernice sighed. "I think I've said too much. Infact as I recall it was along the lines of ”how would you feel if I booked a hotel next weekend?” Good on you I thought, not too needy yet decisive, and despite the fact that we hadn’t been chatting for that long, I decided ‘what the hell… might be worth a punt’ Anyway, the evening arrived and it felt weird ‘meeting up’ with someone in just normal everyday clothes (usually visitors come to us so I can be a little more daring with the outfits if I wish). I sent him a short text to let him know I’d arrived and he dutifully met me at the door…. lol… bless him he looked so surprised when I turned down his offer of a drink in favour of going straight to his room… he kept checking all the way up, and again when we got into the room. Now, don’t get me wrong, I completely understand how nerve-wracking and uncomfortable it can be when you meet up with someone for the first time, but he genuinely had a look of panic in his eyes, ‘rabbit in the headlights’, he had that same look on his.
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